Question:

How does one's "upper body" leave the base before one's lower body? Did David Wright bisect himself or something?

Just thought I'd ask...

GO METS!

Why, Mr. William Edward Wagner, why?

Why'd you have to go and backtrack?

That's not very Billy-esque, now, is it?

Oh, well. I still love ya, and I guess it doesn't matter now that we're winning again*.

However, this is information that I REALLY DID NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AT ALL. Do you know what it feels like to google "Giambi, thong"? Not good. Not good in the least.

And it will never be spoken of again.

Go Mets!

*do I really have to explain the asterisk?

OMFG.

Who are these people?

What is going on?

Where am I?

Let me start off by saying, I’m falling more and more in love with Billy Wagner with every passing expletive directed at his loser teammates that comes out of his mouth.

My two cents are as follows:

Obviously, a lot of players on this team don’t really want to win. If they really wanted to win, they wouldn’t suck as much, right? Or, at least they’d be pissed off when they lost.

So I gotta wonder about the reasons why they don’t want to win.

What role do you think money plays in all this?

How hard would you work at your job if you were guaranteed millions of dollars each year no matter what your performance and with probably a slim to none chance of being fired?

As for tonight, part of me wants the Mets to kick some Yankee arse (of course), and another wants them to go down in a blaze of pathetic-ness so that maybe SOMETHING will change. Is that bad?

Oh, well. Let's go Mets. I guess.


P.S.: What's with Blogger? It didn't let me post last night. For shame.

Only in my dreams...

Last night I had a wonderful dream...

I switched on the TV, and the Mets were holding a news conference...

Kevin Burkhardt was there...

Chris Cotter and his spiky hair was there...

And you know that little graphic on the screen that tells you you're in for breaking news? The colorful one, with pulsating lights and music and scrolling letters?

Yeah, that was there too...

THIS JUST IN:
Aaron Heilman, Met no more

I'm not kidding, folks, I actually had this dream last night.

The funny thing is, everyone was talking about how bad a pitcher Heilman was...

Even Heilman...

He congratulated the Mets on kicking him off the team...

And Willie said he was glad to see him go...

I wonder if I'll have another dream where Willie actually keeps a starter in the game for longer than twenty minutes...

When your rooster crows at the break of dawn...

As regular readers (all two of you) of The Mets and Me know, I am a supporter our fine feathered friends. That being said, I am also a fan of the New York Metropolitans. Let's just say, the New York Metropolitans minus one.

Oh, what a sad, sad story it is. Girl loves baseball. Girl loves birds. Girl hears of baseball god's involvement in animal fighting. Girl defends baseball god, on grounds that he's so darned nice to everyone, so the story couldn't be true. Girl sees video of said baseball god acting like a buffoon. Girl gets pissed. Yeah, he's nice to everyone, it seems, except those without a voice to defend themselves.

I know what you'll say: that it's legal in the Dominican, that it's cultural, that it's harmless, that it was two years ago, that they're just damned birds. Well, screw you. I don't care. It's cruel, the animals suffer, don't give me that "cultural" crap. I don't care where you're from, everyone knows what animal cruelty is. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, but I do have a blog for a reason, which is to say whatever the heck I want to say. And I also have a remote control.

So, the point of this post is to make a slight announcement (that I'm sure both of my readers are awaiting with baited breath). We at The Mets and Me (meaning, basically, Me) are boycotting each and every game that Mr. Pedro Martinez pitches for the 2008 season: Spring Training, Regular Season, Post-season, World Series. Yup, that's right. Game Seven, Mets vs. Yankees? I'll be washing my hair, so to speak.

Mets Spring Training is out there...somewhere

Okay, okay, so I'm not exactly "keeping up" with my blogging as I should be, but there are other folks to do that. Other folks who actually have lives, lives which involve watching spring training games, who are not mired down in something called "college," and/or who can both go to this mystery - nowhere-land called "college" and have a life outside of said "college," which I, apparently, cannot.

I take comfort in these other bloggers, these titans of the Mets online world. Kudos to you, my fellow blue & orangers. Yes, I just made up a word. So sue me. Or, wait, don't. I've got loans to pay off.

Anyway, here is some old school spring training footage (Gil Hodges style). Can Beltran do that kind of knee-bending action as of late? I think not...

Yes, please

Oh my, I'm back

Spurred on by the re-playing of the great "Two balks and a walk off" game against the Giants on SNY last night, I'm determined to sit my butt on the couch (even though I blog in bed), and say something.

And this is basically all I could come up with:

John Maine has apparently reverted back to high school, applied for the MTV "Made" show, and turned into a rapper, all during the off-season. Shouldn't he be concentrating on baseball? ...

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

How priceless is that rap at the end? John Maine has some talent, folks.

Seriously. The season needs to start. Now.

Good Riddance, Metal Igloo Rum!

In order to celebrate the departure of Guillermo Mota & Tom Glavine, I present to you a special Thanksgiving Day list of anagrams created from their names:

Guillermo Mota Anagrams:

Literal Mug Moo (come to think of it, he was a mug moo)
Male Guilt Room (?)
Lame Go Turmoil (go, just go, Mota)
Tearoom Mug Ill
Amigo Emu Troll (oddly appropriate)
Lag Memoir Lout
Goal Me Turmoil
Tailor Mole Mug (wait, that's for Beltran)
Liar Mute Gloom (yes!)
Ritual Me Gloom (the ritual being each time he'd come in from the pen)
Tall Gooier Mum (Mota has the talent of a tall gooey mum plant)
Molar Mile Gout
Moral Glue Omit (priceless)
Marmot Glue Oil (is that what they're calling steroids now?)
Oat Morgue Mill (creepy)
A Gimme Roll Out (kind of like a fruit roll up?)

Tom Glavine Anagrams:

Leaving Tom (yay)
Enigma Volt (not so much)
Angle Vomit (eww)
Lame Voting
Team Loving (yeah, sure)
Vital Gnome (what?)
A Given Molt
A Glove Mint
A Met Loving (this is funny b/c it's not true)
Gave Nil Tom (my personal favorite)
Nag Evil Tom (whenever the Braves come to Shea)
Nail Veg Tom (pelt him with tomatoes if he pitches at Shea?)
Anvil Met Go
Aim Vet Long (long, long, gone)
Vain Leg Tom (ha!)
Oval Met Gin (hmm...)
Am Given Lot (like water jetskis, but still ends up with 7 ER in less than an inning)
Am Vile Tong (I don't know what a tong is, but he definitely is one)


*Anagrams courtesy of http://wordsmith.org/anagram/


Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Brooklyn Parrots

In an effort to make this blog less about my whining about the Mets (especially in the off-season) and more about "Me," I'll be posting about stuff other than our long-suffering Queens ball club. For example...

I don't live in Brooklyn, but if I did, I'd be happy. And not because I like Brooklyn, particularly, but because of these guys...

The Monk Parrots!

About forty years ago, a whole bunch of them got loose in NYC (bound for pet stores), and began foraging and thriving in Brooklyn and surrounding areas. As someone who loves animals and nature in general, this is an amazing story. It's even more amazing when you consider that the original parrots were stolen from their homeland and were on their sorry way to be locked in a 3' X 3' cage for the rest of their lives...what now, exotic animal trade? What now!? Oh, snap!

Anyway...

The Monk Parrots make friends very easily...

Hey, they're even patriotic!

For those of you who don't care for parrots (or pigeons, for that matter), I say, you suck. A lot. Could you survive in Brooklyn if you had to forage on your own without a place to live, food, or a job? I think not. So, keep your suckage away from me and bow to the birds.

Anyhoo, this is a really great site about the Monk Parrots of Brooklyn.

Yeah, Monk Parrots rule.

Photos courtesy www.brooklynparrots.com